There are some beers so completely bizarre that conventional ways of describing them don’t do any justice. Such is the case with Chili Beer, a beverage so unlike anything I’d ever tasted that I can hardly believe there’s one sitting next to me right now. It came to me in a serendipitous way — though if you’re one of the many online critics who consider this the worst beer ever brewed, you’d probably consider it a curse. But anyway, I was in Winona today, missed my turn to the Frisbee golf course, ended up in front of Warehouse Liquors and wondered if I could find anything new inside. I was hoping for something tasty from a Minnesota microbrewery, but instead I found this Arizona beer with a chili pepper floating inside the bottle. Hot damn, was this something else! On the golf course on a stifling July afternoon, Chili Beer was actually refreshing in a hot-enough-for-ya? sort of way, though not everyone else is such a fan. One reviewer on BeerAdvocate.com (where it received a cumulative grade of D-) politely called it “one of the weakest efforts at beer making that I've ever encountered,” while another likened it to “the urine of Satan after a hefty portion of asparagus.” Me, I think it’s actually a pretty neat beer.

It pours a yellow-orange color resembling apple juice with no head — and did I mention there’s a green chili floating in there? That’s a serrano, and there’d be no Chili Beer without it. I’ve tasted other “chipotle ales” on the market, and while they may be better crafted brews from top to bottom, none of them tastes quite as fresh as this. The aroma of Chili Beer is like something approaching pickled jalapeño juice — quite awful, really. There are no hops to speak of, but that isn’t why people drink this beer. The drink it because there’s a spicy friggin’ pepper floating inside! The first sip snaps at the tongue like a rattlesnake bite. It doesn’t even get the taste buds so much, but the esophagus starts to feel like it’s on fire. This gets the body temperature rising, but as anyone from an equatorial climate would attest, consuming spicy foods makes a person feel cooler. If it weren’t for that strong kick to the cajones, Chili Beer would be a truly awful, watery lager. It only has drinkability if you’re a sadist, or just want something different from your everyday microbrews. Because of that, Chili Beer seemed like a perfect beer for this day, although we’re yet to see what tomorrow morning brings.

— Adam Bissen